718, 719 + 614, 615 Weeks

Usually I don't have much to say, but it has been a busy few weeks!  Jeffrey's 54th birthday has been and gone.  His birthday was on a Monday and Jeff had to work, so we celebrated it on Sunday.  I made him his favourite chocolate brownies, and Mum and Geoff come over for cake and presents.  It was pretty chill, with no dramas, which is a success in my book.  Jeffrey and I spent the day hanging out together and I tried to spoil him rotten.  He says he had a good birthday - a day of fun with no drama.  Win!

This past Sunday Jeff and I flew to Sydney for a quick overnight trip to get his passport renewed.  It had expired, so we couldn't do it by mail, and Jeff missed the deadline to submit the paperwork for the regional travelling US consulate, which meant we had to go to Sydney.  We left early on Sunday morning and returned on Monday night, while Mum and Geoff looked after the kids.  It was such a short trip, but we did so much and had such a good time!  On Sunday we met my old high school friend Anna at the Opera Bar.  I hadn't seen her in about ten years (time flies!), and we had a blast.  Anna and Jeff get along really well too, and it was very easy to spend the afternoon with her.  We went from the Opera Bar at the Opera House, to travelling to Anna's place in Manly via the ferry.  We spent the afternoon at Anna's, then ferried back to the city and then over to North Sydney to our hotel.  Dinner out was lovely.  It was really good to be away having some alone time.  The next morning we went to the consulate to get his new passport (Success! We just have to wait a few weeks for it to arrive).  We then caught the train into the city, had morning tea at the QVB, walked to Darling Harbour where we had lunch, then made our way to Circular Quay.  We spent the afternoon travelling to Watson's Bay on the ferry, and we stopped there for some afternoon tea before ferrying back to the city and catching the train to the airport.  Busy busy!  I realise how much easier it is to get around when we don't have to plan for the kids!  LOL.

It is nice to be home knowing that we have taken care of Jeff's passport.  He is heading back home to the States in June.  I'm not looking forward to it, and so wish I could go too!

We have had a good couple of weeks.  I have made a new rule that the kids do not get to go on any screens until they have been up for three hours and done something productive.  At first this involved a lot of tears on Arley's part, and some very dramatic dialogue telling me I have ruined his life.  However, after a few days it has become our normal, and things aren't going too badly!  Clint has taken the kids out a couple of times.  Carmie has had physio and done very well at it.  We got a surprise this morning when Penny, the kids' behaviour specialist, didn't show up.  When I checked my email I found that I had been sent a message from her company saying she no longer worked for them and that all appointments, today and future, have been cancelled!  Carmie was a little upset, as she really likes Penny.  I am a little relieved as I am getting very tired of all of these therapy appointments.  I think we will take a break from behaviour therapy for a while - hopefully we won't need it at all in the future!  Carmie has also asked to stop doing speech therapy, and she has done so well that her therapist and I agree that she can stop, at least for the time being.  Happy days!

I had better run, as Jeff is on his way home from work and I need to get his dinner on.  He has had a good week too, with quite a few trial lessons lined up and a couple of sign-ups too. :)

716, 717 + 612, 613 Weeks

Yes, it appears that I am only writing the blog every two weeks at this point...time seems to be speeding up, because every time it comes to Thursday, my blog-writing day, it feels like I have nothing to say because it was just yesterday that I wrote the last post! I have also been a little concerned about the kids' privacy, but I had a chat with Carmie and she has actually requested that I keep going until she is 18 so that she has her entire childhood recorded.  LOL. No small task, but I've been doing it for almost 14 years - what's another four?

Carmie has dropped another group this week!  She is now only attending two D&D groups, which really frees up her time.  She has been joining Arley on his outings with Clint, and she has now asked for her own separate outings with Clint each week too.  I don't know what we would do without that man!  On Tuesday he took Arley to the Military Museum in Maroochydore, which Arley really enjoyed, and then the next day he picked up both kids and took them to the aquarium.  Saved my sanity, is what he really did.  Haha.

Carmie rocked her physio session yesterday, and Arley had OT on Monday.  He and his OTs baked ginger cookies.  They are working to get his sensory avoidance under control.  It would be really great if he could start making his own snacks and small meals, but at this point he can't due to sensory issues and anxiety.  It would really take the pressure off me!

On Friday Jeff and I took the kids to a place called Holy Moly where we played indoor mini-golf.  It was kind of an experiment in a family outing, as usually it's a bit of a disaster.  This time it wasn't!  We had a few small hiccups, but nothing like it used to be.  This gives me high hopes for doing more together in the future.  The main problem for us and going out is trying to feed the kids.  It is near impossible and I think will be a hurdle for a long time to come.

The kids and I have started going up to Mum and Geoff's for dinner on Monday nights while Jeffrey is at work.  I am loving our dinners.  It feels like a night off for me, and it's good to sit down as a family and have a meal.  Afterwards Carmie and I have been playing Uno with Mum.  It feels like we are building memories, which is really nice.

I don't have much else to say.  We have a few days of torrential rain head of us, which I'm quite looking forward to!  I love having an excuse to stay home!

I found this online when I put Carmie's name into Google search.  There was once another Carmie Willbanks!  We can't believe it!

715 + 611 Weeks

Well, the cyclone that we were prepped and waiting for last week dissipated before it hit us!  We were waiting for it for days, watching it slowly move south, then east, then west, then north west...until it hit Moreton Bay (about 45 minutes south of us) and downgraded to a tropical storm.  I have to say, we got very lucky.  There were 300,000 people without power, but we escaped that torture.  We did have a couple of days of torrential rain and a rather large thunderstorm, but that was it.  Our behaviour therapist had to cancel her appointment with us because she was flooded in.  But that was the only disruption to our lives due to Cyclone Alfred.

My brother Jay and his girlfriend Erica have been in town.  Clearly they haven't had the best of weather, but that worked out a little better for the kids, I think.  It meant that Jay and Erica came to our house to spend time with the kids, which is always better as the kids are more comfortable here.  The kids got to play board games and Xbox with their uncle for two afternoons in a row, and they were very happy indeed.

Carmie has dropped down to only one social group at the Nest in Caloundra, and two groups at Social Studio.  She's down to only three group in total a week, from seven.  I am loving having her home more.  I think she burnt herself out with all the groups she was going to.  Instead we have been hanging out a lot more, and it's really nice.  She can still be a grumpy teenager, but for the most part, it's so nice to have her home.  Yesterday I took her to physio, and she had a great session.  On Tuesday she joined Arley in his outing with Clint.  They went to the aquarium, which might just be Arley's favourite place here.  Both kids had OT on Monday and that went well too.  Arley's OT is going to specifically start trying to help with Arley's aversion to touching wet and cold things.  If we can crack that, things will be a lot easier in our household!

I don't have much else to add.  It's been a good week, despite the trepidation we dealt with due to the non-cyclone!

713, 714 + 609, 610 Weeks

So, I didn't post last week as there were no photos and not much to say... and now I'm posting a day early because we might lose power tomorrow, as we are going to be getting hammered by Cyclone Alfred.  We've never experienced a cyclone before and it's a little daunting.  The only thing I'm really worried about is the loss of power and internet!  How do we feed the kids (particularly Carmie who hates gluten free bread which means no sandwiches), and how to do entertain them?  Our lovely survivalist support worker Clint dropped off a camping stove for us yesterday, which will definitely save the day as far as food goes,  But how to entertain the kids in the house with no power and not able to go outside?  Potentially for a few days?  Ugh, dreading it!  I'm quite excited for a bit of action though.  Right now it's the calm before the storm, which feels kind of eerie.

My kid brother Jay and his girlfriend Erica flew in yesterday for a vacation.  They left Bali a week ago and have been in Sydney, and are now doing their Susnhine Coast leg of the trip, right in time for the cyclone.  Such bad timing!  However, I am very glad Jay is with Lolo and Dida in case anything goes wrong.

We've had a good week so far.  On the weekends we have been spending more time with the kids, mostly playing Xbox with them, which brings on a lot of laughs.  I'm fairly terrible at all the games they choose though.  Jeff and I ran out on Sunday and surprised the kids by buying a new tv.  Our old tv was ten years old, and we did not realise that we were such dinosaurs!  The new tv is 65 inches and voice activated and a hundred times better than our last one.  Arley's neighbourhood buddies are happy too.  LOL.

Arley had a checkup at the dentist this week.  He is still right on track but they won't do any more work on his teeth until all of his adult teeth come through, which will be a couple of years.  They have expanded his palate to give the teeth room, and it hasn't moved back and things look good.

I don't have much more to add.  Wish us luck surviving the next few days!!

A semi-cooperative Arley from when Clint took him bowling this week:

We have just discovered that Arley is smiling for photos again (it's been years!!) so we are making the most of it :)

712 + 608 Weeks

It has been a fairly good week.  The weather has finally cracked and we aren't in the middle of stifling heat anymore, which is great.  It's still hot, but not heatwave-hot.  We've been bombarded with the neighbourhood kids - Arley and his buddies are hanging out a lot.  Too much, in fact.  We are setting up some ground rules and time restrictions, because our house seems to be taken over by the three of them!  The boys' mum is on board, so hopefully there won't be much drama.  We are shooting for two afternoons and one weekend morning a week (as opposed to every day!).  Jeff keeps making fun saying that I now have three boys to look after.  Well, that's changing!

Carmie is doing fairly well.  She had a friend, Vilia, over yesterday.  Carms has dropped out of two of her groups, but she has picked up two more, so she's still out and about being a teenager five days a week.  Her sleep has gone to hell again, which has big knock-on effects every day, so I'm trying to get on top of it.  Her phone is now locked up along with her iPad every night, so I'm hoping that helps.  It didn't last night, but it's all about getting her into a rhythm.

I don't have much more to add. There were no big dramas this week. Old angry Arley returned for a tantrum last night when he couldn't play xbox, but we had a big talk this morning and I told him to imagine his dad acting that way.  He got a laugh out of that, and recognition that it is very immature behaviour.  He is still a tough cookie, but definitely more rational and understanding.

No real complaints!  Just cruising.

710, 711 + 606, 607 Weeks

It has been two weeks since I posted, and I still have no photos to show, barring a couple of Arley!  However, we have had a good couple of weeks.  The kids have been doing really well.  Carmie is the same as always -  eats like a bird, lies around like a slug, acts like an untrained puppy in the evenings...LOL.  She is still going off to her social groups.  Last weekend she did a 6-hour D&D one shot campaign and came home exhausted but happy.  Carms has started up fortnightly physio to help her posture, and I'm so relieved that we are back at it.  Now I just have to get her to do her daily back exercises...

I took Carmie to a teen girls homeschool meet up last week.  She wasn't super keen to go but I was happy that she went.  It didn't go very well though.  She had a chat to two of her friends for five minutes and then withdrew to draw on her iPad, wearing her headphones, as she became really uncomfortable.  We aren't going to back until she wants to - no point in pushing her when she isn't ready.

As for Arley, he is KILLING it!  He is doing so well.  His behaviour specialist was here this morning, and she said she thinks his prefrontal cortex has started growing, as he is SO much more mature than he was even a month ago.  He is able to keep his cool for longer, apologise when he is wrong, calm down faster when he has lost the plot.  He asked Carmie if she would like it if her were kinder to her, as he wants a better relationship with her.  This friendship with the two brothers down the street has really been eye-opening for him, and tested his patience as well as taught him to navigate problems.  We actually had to have a break from them this week, as they had been over nine days in a row (!!), twice on Sunday!  And they stay for hours, and pretty much take over the kitchen, lounge room, Arley's bedroom and the pool.  Definitely an inconvenience and yes, it felt like their parents were taking the piss.  I could just see them high-fiving every time the boys came over.  Haha.  So, I'm limiting it to a few days a week now, because all three started bickering with each other, and the boys really started feeling too at home here!  It has been worth it though, to see Arley mature so much.

Jeff and I drove down to Brisbane on Saturday night to have dinner with Ciri, my Aussie bestie.  She was up in Brisbane at a vet conference, so we met her for dinner.  It was great!  It's so nice to be able to drive to a big city and have good Mexican food!

Carmie has started doing another D&D social group on Wednesday afternoons, and this one I have to drop her off and pick her up, but it's silly for me to go home in between.  Yesterday I hummed and hawed about going to a cafe, or going for a solo beach swim.  I chose the solo beach swim, which I haven't done in years!  When I got to the beach, it was kind of windy and quite rough - but I was OK with that.  But then I got down towards the shore, and saw that there were giant jellyfish and hundreds of bluebottles everywhere.  Ugh.  So, that meant no swimming.  So, I decided to spread out my towel, like on my back, hat over face, and have a rest.  After ten minutes I felt drops.  It was raining?  Nope!  I took my hat off and looked at my birdshit speckled legs and feet, and realised I would have to brave the jellyfish infested waters to wash the crap off.  I then went for a good walk to dry off.  I had fifteen minutes left before I had to get Carmie, so I lay down again to rest, and then...rain.  Yep, it started raining on me.  It was not the beach experience I was hoping for.  Next week I am going to a cafe!!

Arley has decided to give up his bunk bed for a big bed (a double, although he was pushing for a queen!), so I took him bed shopping last week.  (Thanks Pop!!!).  The mattress is here leaning against the wall in the lounge room, and every day Arley asks when the bed frame is arriving.  He is very excited!  That is where I got photos of him, see below :)

Fingers crossed for more good weeks ahead!

Mattress shopping with Arley

Jellyfish - my foot is for size reference!

709 + 605 Weeks

It's Thursday again, my blog-writing day, and I'm actually on time this week, AND have good news to report!  The kids have had a really good week, which means that Jeff and I have had a good week.  I was very stressed about Tuesday because Arley had to wake up earlier than he had been so he could go swimming with Clint for two hours, and then he was to come home, have lunch and then have his two OT's come over for an OT session at 2pm.  We never schedule two things in one day as it's always been a disaster.  But I woke up on Tuesday morning and Arley was already awake and in a good mood.  He got himself ready and went off swimming with Clint, had a great session, then that afternoon he had his best ever OT session.  He was so communicative, so patient, so happy - none of us could believe it.  And then right afterwards his buddies from down the road came over to play, and he spent two hours playing with them!  This is unheard of.  Then on Wednesday morning when I got up, I found Arley happily keeping busy in his bedroom, and he had already had breakfast and done all his morning chores.  Then the same thing happened this morning!  I cannot tell you how much impact this has had on my days!  Normally mornings are unbearably stressful, easily the worst part of the day.  The kids' behaviour specialist had a session with them this morning, and she said the whole house feels different, light and happy.  That is how much Arley's behaviour controls us all.  Anyway, I don't expect it to last, as these things always go in cycles, but right now I'm thanking my lucky stars!

Carmie has been a little unwell on and off, but we are working towards getting her healthy.  She had an excellent physio session yesterday, and then last night I taught her how to cook pasta with red sauce.  She really enjoyed it, and we promised we would cook together at least once a week.  She is very happy to learn skills to be independent.  We are working on extending her social circle as well.  Carmie has been hanging out with neurodivergent people at neurodivergent-supportive spaces, so we are trying to get her involved with groups with typical kids in them too.  She has to get used to the 'real world' and 'real world socialising and expectations'.  It is pretty cool watching her grow up.

Jeff's business has been rocking it in January, and we can only hope this momentum continues.  I have also had a little more time to myself in my art studio, which is just the best.  I'm not yet working on anything serious, but the intentions are there! Haha.

Carmie and I cooking dinner last night

Arley and his neighbourhood buddies.  They've been here three days in a row!

707, 708 + 603, 604 weeks

Once again I have no photos!  We haven't done much as a family in a while, besides hang out at home, that is.  It has been a decent couple of weeks.  There is very little stress when I don't require much from the kids, but I think small changes are happening.  Right now I can hear Arley filling his own water bottle, which is a big step up from when he used to just come and take my full water bottle, which was driving me crazy for months!  It's the little things, LOL.  I also got him outside playing darts with me today, so I take the small wins where I can get them.  Carmie is in her D&D session right now (on zoom from home today, as they forgot to pick her up!!), and I can hear her having the best time.  She is definitely in her element.  She had speech therapy on Monday afternoon, and her Speechie said she can hear real improvement in Carmie's speech, and now she's going to start helping her with conversations.  Carmie can converse pretty well with other autistics, but she clams up in more typical situations.  I am going to start taking Carmie to a teen girl's homeschool group on Wednesdays, hoping that this will expand her comfort levels to different places and people.  Her Speechie is going to help her with conversation starters.  But right now I can hear her talking up a storm!

I am currently recovering from a medical procedure that I had yesterday.  Jeff and I got to the hospital at 7am, and I was back home after lunch, after being put under a general anaesthetic to have a D&C.  It wasn't a very fun experience and I woke up in quite a bit of pain, so I'm taking it easy today and should be back to normal by tomorrow.  Jeff's being a champ and has taken good care of me.  Ugh, sometimes being a woman is awful!

I don't have too much more to say.  The kids had a paed appointment last week.  It only cost us $690. OMG!  So expensive, but necessary for my two.  Arley has to have an ultrasound on his tummy next week, and Carmie has just started on Ritalin (her request), and we are upping her sleep meds to tackle her insomnia which is acting up again. The strain on families with different kids is real, I tell you!

706 + 602 Weeks

Just a quick update, as I have no photos and not much to say!  All activities and therapies have started back up again.  I've been struggling to get the kids back to a regular schedule.  Arley has been a tough nut to crack, but I think I am making progress.  Carmie has been more amenable, however she hasn't been very well - lots of nausea and some sleepless nights.  But we are getting there.

Carmie (and I) made a new friend this week.  My friend Nicky and her daughter Lexi are friends with a mother and daughter, and the mother has been really struggling as her autistic daughter has been having a lot of anxiety socially.  Nicky thought Carmie and the daughter, Vilia, would get along, and she wasn't wrong!  They seem very similar indeed, and they chatted up a storm, along with Lexi, and they were all really happy.  The mum and I got along well, and it seems I can help navigate parenting an autistic kid, because she is quite clueless and is asking for help.  Poor thing, it can be very stressful, especially at the beginning.  So, it's been a win with new friends!

Jeff's guitar school started back up for the new year, and he already has three new sign ups.  So, we couldn't be happier on that count too.  Things are looking good for the year ahead.

Now, if only I could get the kids in line!  LOL.

704, 705 + 600, 601 Weeks

We have officially survived Christmas and New Years.  Christmas was great, very relaxed but still fun, with Lolo and Dida coming to spend Christmas Day with us, as well as my brother Sting and his girlfriend Sarah.  We had gift giving in the morning, an easy Christmas lunch, a swim in the pool, dessert, and plenty of chill time.  It was really fun, with no drama.  The kids loved their presents, and it was really nice to spend the day with family but in the comfort of our own home.

Boxing Day was not as fun.  We decided on a family trip to the beach, which we only attempted once last summer and it was not good.  We gave the kids lots of warning, both wanted to go, but then when it came down to it, Arley's anxiety skyrocketed, and it was a disaster.  It took an extra 45 minutes to get out of the house, there was lots of shouting and lots of tears, huge emotions from Arley...we got to the beach and I managed to get him and Carmie out swimming in the ocean, and that was fun.  We had 15-20 minutes of swimming before Carmie had to go back to the sand, then Arley got double dumped by two waves and he was done.  He couldn't stand the feeling of sand being in his swimmers and water shoes, and he let us all know it.  We packed up and went back home, all of us emotionally exhausted, and Jeff and I promised each other never to do a family trip to the beach again.  It was far more damaging to our family dynamic than positive, and these are not the kind of memories we want to make!  The next day we stayed home and had a family swim in the pool, which was really fun and no stress, and most of all, no tears, shouting or anxiety.

New Year's Eve was a disaster as well.  In the car on the way to see the fireworks, Arley couldn't get his headphones working properly, which was enough to set him off, which was enough to set Jeff off, which was enough to set me off, which was enough to make Carmie burst into tears.  It was awful.  We turned around to head home, then decided we should go because Carmie was just so upset, then we got stuck in traffic trying to get to Point Cartwright where we were planning on watching the fireworks, Jeff dropped us off and then drove off to find a parking spot.  Jeff never made it back in time to actually see the fireworks, and Arley was so worried about him and so upset with himself for setting off the whole chain of events that he couldn't enjoy them.  And then the fireworks were only 7 minutes long!  I called Jeff and had him pick us up (he missed the whole thing, stuck in the car), and we drove home with none of us speaking!  OMG.

Other than that, we have had a relaxing time.  The kids have been sleeping late, Jeff and I have been hanging out together a lot, I've been doing lots of creative stuff, and the kids have been going to some groups and not to others.  We are definite home-bodies, with good reason!  Jeff starts back at work next week, and the kids' schedules ramp up again, which I think is a good thing for us all.