472 + 368 Weeks

This post is a little late this week, because we have been so busy packing.  We did finally get a house, four days before our movers arrived (which is today; they are there now packing the truck).  A realtor we were dealing with was totally messing us around, saying he was going to fast track us into a house...for two weeks.  In desperation I called another realtor about a house ready for mid August (we figured we would have to take a two week vacation and put all of our belongings in storage), but then this new realtor got us into a house the very next day. It is only a year old, so very modern with a nice kitchen, but it is a little smaller than we would like.  We won’t have an area to paint and craft in, which is pretty big for us, and the bedrooms seem to be quite small, so I think this will be a transition house for six months.  But we are just so relieved we have a house!

This week we have had to say more goodbyes.  The kids had horse riding yesterday and had to say goodbye to Milea and the horses (photos next week), and that was very sad, particularly for Carmie.  She cried all the way home.  We also had our last play date with the kids’ friends Delphi and Jasper (and their mum Anna), and that was a great play, but then very sad at the end too!  Delphi went missing because she was crying out in the back garden, and then Arley and her hid her in the trunk of our car.  We took a bunch of photos when we were saying goodbye, and Arley was so grouchy at that point because he just wanted to leave.  Delphi ran down the driveway behind us on our way out waving, “Goodbye! Goodbye!” while Carmie sobbed in the back of the car.  So super sad.

We made it to our beloved Collers Beach one more time, even though it was quite cold and windy.  And other than that, we have just been home packing.  I’m glad it’s all done, but I’m not particularly looking forward to the other end!

Arley has been quite good this week, which has been a relief, because I haven’t had much time for nonsense.  And poor Carmie has just been plain sad.

We are really looking forward to being up in Coffs, where the weather is warmer, where there is more to do, and we’re looking forward to visiting the learning centre the kids will be attending.  And to new adventures!

Collers Beach

At Delphi and Jasper’s

 

 

 

471 + 367 Weeks

So, we had to push our move back by a few days, which means we are moving in nine days and...drumroll...we still don't have a house!  We have put in an application for one in Sawtell, and we will find out tomorrow by the earliest.  I just hope we do, because if we have to go through our last weekend here not knowing where we will live, I'll lose my mind.  The house we were after last week turned out to be a very small dump of a house that we wouldn't fit into if we tried, so it was a no-go.  But the good news is that we are fairly well packed, and I'm not stressed about that aspect at all.

We have barely done anything this week but stay home, pack, play VR and hang out.  The weather has been miserably cold, and I am so thankful this is our last winter here.  We hung out with my friend Kylie and her kids Willow and Finn on Tuesday, and that is as social as we have been.

Arley has been a tough cookie again, lots of anger and physical aggression.  It is thoroughly exhausting for us, but I can't imagine the toll it takes on him.  I am sure the stress of moving isn't helping, although he says he is excited to move.  Carmie is super sad and tears up thinking about it.  She is scared that she won't make any new friends, which is ludicrous because she is awesome, but there's no point in hearing that from your mother.  And Jeffrey and I can't wait.

There's not much more to say, and barely any photos for this week either!

470 + 366 Weeks

It has been a really big week.  We had the kids' birthday party on Saturday.  It was tons of fun, and lasted 4.5 hours.  We had a piñata, we did donuts on a string, and set up the VR so the kids could walk the plank and have a play in virtual reality.  It was a total hit.  I got savvy this year and bought a large cake from the bakery instead of spending a day making two separate cakes, but it still took me a precious day away from packing to organise the party.  It was worth it though - the kids had a blast.  When we got home we unwrapped gifts and cards from their friends, and the generosity of the people in our lives is overwhelming.  Such thoughtful people and thoughtful, generous gifts.  Carmie was sobbing at the thought of leaving everyone, particularly Delphi.  Delphi's card made her wail, it was quite heart breaking.  We have had quite a few people ask for another meet up, but I'm not sure if we will be able to fit it in.

We still haven't found a house!  We lost one yesterday because I did't hear the phone ring, and the landlord had a question for us.  A property manager is helping us, and she says there is one coming up, available on the 28th - but we have the movers booked to deliver on the 23rd.  I have not seen the house, and apparently it has only one bathroom (scary for us!).  So now I am trying to finagle the movers to adjust their schedule so maybe they could deliver on the 28th instead.  And if so, I have to rearrange for the cleaner and the carpet cleaner to come on different days.  Settlement is on the 30th, so we have a little bit of wiggle room, but we are cutting it very close.  Talk about stressful!!  And the house is rather under budget, so I am pretty scared we will be living in a total dive.  However, the location is great, so that is a plus.

Arley has been a tough cookie this week.  I am trying to do the whole no punishment thing, but it is very difficult with all the name-calling and instigating he does.  He hates himself for his meaness, and tells me all the time how sorry he is.  In fact, he has just walked out of the bathroom telling me he cleaned the sink as an apology for always being such a jerk.  In the moment, it's so hard to believe that he can't control it, but afterwards he is so regretful that I do believe it.  Anyway, I have a TeleHealth appointment with our autism doctor tomorrow morning, so fingers crossed I learn something.

Carmie is good.  She has been doing tennis camp for most of the week, 9am to 1pm.  She missed Wednesday because she had insomnia on Tuesday night and was too tired.  But she has been loving it, although totally exhausted afterwards.  She has also been practising on her skateboard which she got for her birthday.  She says it's scary but she loves it.

I am still working out every day using the VR.  I actually look forward to it.  This morning I was lying in bed telling myself I wasn't going to do it because I had very little time this morning (the perfect excuse), but then I did it anyway after I dropped Carmie off at camp.  I can't help myself.  Arley has been hanging out with me all day (driving me crazy), which is probably why he has been so difficult this week.

I'm hoping I have better news next week - an exact moving date and a house to move into!

469 + 365 Weeks

Carmie and Arley are 9 and 7 today!  I can't believe they have gotten so big.  I never realised how important July 2nd would be to me, but now I have my babies, it is the best day of the year.  And possibly the most exhausting.  I'm glad today is over (now we just have to survive their birthday party on Saturday).  They were very excited when they woke up this morning, and as it was a "Do What You Want" day, Arley was immediately playing Minecraft.  I then took them to horse riding, and then we stopped in to visit Wes, the kids' carer, as he and Lauren have had a baby.  Carmie was quite smitten with their little girl.  When we got home, the kids continued their day of gaming, reading and more gaming.  When Jeffrey came home for lunch the kids were allowed to open their box of presents from their Nema (grandma in the US - thanks Nema and Grandpa Clark!), and they were so excited.  In the late afternoon we went to Lolo and Dida's house for dinner, and the kids got to open their presents from us.  I went overs again, but a lot of gifts were games we will play for homeschooling.  The kids were stoked - Carmie got the skateboard she wanted (oh my lord!) and Arley got a super-cool remote control car.  They were very hard to get to sleep tonight, as they were both still so excited :)

We have had a busy week.  We went up to Bowral on Sunday because Georgia had organised a birthday lunch for Lolo's 70th birthday (which is in three days time).  My brother Sting came down from Sydney, as did my cousin Beau and his wife.  It was a really nice day.  We took the VR headset up, and it was pretty fun watching everyone try to walk the plank (on top of a skyscraper) in virtual reality.  Beau was the only one who succeeded with confidence, and I have to say, quite a few of them couldn't even try to walk it.  It was a quick trip to Bowral, but fun all the same.

I am happy to say that Jackie is all better.  His lung infection seems to have cleared up, and his penis is where it should be!

We visited my friend Dawn to say goodbye and to have one last visit with her chickens.  The kids love her chickens so much, it almost makes me want to get some.  We still have a few more goodbyes to make before we go, but the bulk of them will be at the kids birthday party, which is also a goodbye party.  Carmie is super sad to move (excited too), but Arley wants to go, no hang ups!  As for our move, the movers are booked for July 22nd, and we still don't have a house to go to!  I call realtors every day, and scour the realestate sites, but there is either nothing suitable, or everything is taken.  It is super frustrating, and it looks like we are going to have to compromise - either pay more than we hoped, live further away from the learning centre, get a much smaller house...it's cutting it close.

So, last week I mentioned that Arley had started on a new medication (prescribed by his paediatrician, and not the med I was hoping for), but it made him SO tired.  The very next day after that first dose, I called our GP who specialises in autism and paediatrics, and he said get him off it right away, that it will only sedate him.  Basically I have to find a new paediatrician up in Coffs Harbour.  I told our doctor more of what he has been going through, and he thinks Arley has incredibly low self-esteem, and that our main focus has to be building up his self esteem and resilience.  He said we will look at ADHD meds further down the track once we get his self-esteem higher.  I told him it is so low because Arley is always in trouble (for his temper, for being impulsive, for being mean to Carmie), and he asked me how we discipline him (I do it according to our therapists' instructions), and do you know what the doctor said?  He said Arley is never to be in trouble again.  That none of it is his fault, and he is not to be disciplined for something he can't control.  This leaves me with very few tools to work with, but somehow we have made it work this week, and he hasn't been in trouble (barring one slip-up of mine).  Arley had an OK week.  He had a bad morning on Tuesday when he had to go to tennis, and he got angry at me right beforehand, and then just couldn't keep his cool.  Sometimes autistic people do not understand hierarchy among people.  Arley is like this, and just has no concept that he should be doing what his coach asks him to do.  He thinks he is on the same level as everyone, instructors included, and it can appear pretty disrespectful.  He gets so mad so fast.  He also had a massive meltdown on Wednesday night, which included lots of insane screaming, and then he broke down into dreadful sobbing and berating himself.  It is so hard to watch, and even harder to control my own temper, but I did a good job of it this week.  It feels good when I can be there for him instead of add to his meltdown, but it is hard to do.  We are trying really hard to not get angry, which is very difficult when his anger is aimed at us!

Carmie had a great tennis lesson this week.  She is very excited that she got so many books for her birthday, and today she told me she hopes she gets lots of gift certificates to the book store from her friends.  She is the cutest little book nerd I have ever seen.  And she's nine today!  Can't believe it.

A happy Jackie!

 In Bowral for Mum's 70th

 Carmie has been making herself hot breakfasts this week

 Kids and chickens

 Birthday!

 Gift box from Nema

 Loving their new birthday computers (thanks Pop!)

 Presents!

 Giving Lolo her birthday card