511 + 407 Weeks

There were big ups and downs this week.  Arley had a rough few days as he had lost his screens.  I rarely take away screens because it just doesn't seem to be the right thing to do, at least in our circumstances, but he was that bad, and I think he needed a break. So that was tough, on all of us!  But then on Sunday we had a surprise for the kids.  Their little rat Nacho has been scratching himself until bleeding, and I was told it was due to depression from losing his brother Jackie.  We didn't want to get another baby rat, as at some point the rat cycle has to end, and Nacho would die before the baby rat, and then we'd have to get a replacement rat friend for him...you get the picture.  But I managed to find a year-old rat who has also lost his mate and who needed adopting.  We didn't tell the kids.  We just took them out to breakfast down in Valla (which was lovely, even though Arley had ice cream for breakfast), and then afterwards we went over to the foster house to collect their new little rat Merlin.  Merlin (or Mel, as we call him) looks just like Jackie but three times the size.  He is huge!  Haha.  That was a shock.  Anyway, the kids were so happy.  We brought Mel home and let him and Nacho run around in the bathroom together and eat treats.  We then put them in Nacho's cage together, and they were so cute, snuggling up to each other.  They had one big scuffle, so we separated them that night, but the next day we put them back together and it has been smooth sailing.  So now we have two ratties again - one medium and one jumbo one.  All is right with the world.

We took the kids to play Finska, cricket and baseball on the oval again.  Despite Arley's complaints, it went well.  Carmie can hit a great ball!  Arley likes it but hates the walk back home (it is literally a two minute walk, but all uphill).  Because of this, he complains every single time we go.  Another day we took a break and got the kids to the beach in Sawtell.  It was gorgeous there.  It's not really swimming weather (still beautiful, but not very hot), which is a shame because the water is so warm!  It was lovely to get out, even though Arley was grumbly and Carmie was a zombie on four hours of sleep.

Carmie has had a few nights of horrible sleep again.  We have a paed appointment next week, so fingers crossed we can get her some help.

And Arley...he had another appointment with the psychologist on Tuesday.  It was her second one working with him on his anxiety.  The first one was terrible, as he was oppositional and uncooperative.  This second session was...so much worse!!  OMG, it was a violent, screaming nightmare.  The first fifteen minutes was brilliant, and they got some good work done, but then it all fell apart, who knows why.  Arley showed his true anger.  It really doesn't matter who is with him, he just goes for gold.  So, the psychologist has told me it's not going to work, due to Arley's "extreme defiance" and she's worried that we will ruin psychology forever for him if we continue.  So from now on I'll be going to those sessions alone and trying to help him in a roundabout way.  Nightmare!!

I have had to go to the doctor and physio myself this week.  I have had bad shoulder pain for a few months.  It fluctuates, and I have been pushing through, but it has gotten that bad I thought I should see someone.  I have bursitis in my right shoulder from my exercise (wah!!) and have to have a break for a while, as well as do these physio exercises with a theraband.  The physio touched my shoulders and said, "Wow, you are carrying SO much stress in your shoulders.  They are rocks."  So, great.  One more thing to stress about!

Jeffrey took the kids to their swimming lesson this afternoon.  Carmie was in with Arley with the teacher they both like...and they had a great lesson!  Apparently they were like happy little fish.  Such a breakthrough for Arley.  Yay!

On Monday of next week the kids and I are flying down to Sydney and then heading down to the south coast to visit Mum and Geoff, and our old friends.  The kids are getting horse riding lessons from Milea, and we are going to go to all our favourite spots.  I'm really excited!  Jeffrey is staying in Coffs to look after the dog and the rats, and because he has some guitar lessons to give.  He is a bit sad and we will miss him, but it will be good to get back to Ulladulla.

Still no photos of Arley this week :(

Surprise breakfast in Valla

Bringing back Merlin

Friends already

Look at the size difference.  Nacho was our big rat!

Awwwwww

Baseball Carmie

At Sawtell beach

At the park this afternoon.  Look at the sky!

That's Arley on the bench.  He did eventually join in.

 

510 + 406 Weeks

I can't believe I'm writing this blog already.  This week has gone by so quickly.  We have been making the most of the amazing weather.  On Friday we took the kids up to the Bellingen pool.  Arley didn't swim again, but it was still a good day.  That evening I took the kids to the Friday markets again, because Carmie was determined to try the climbing wall they have there.  Arley was too, but he didn't get very far.  He said he didn't like the rope being right in front of his face like that. Carmie had three goes and was a total champ.  She made it up to the top to hit the buzzer twice, and it is really high!  There's no way I would have or could have done it!

We also went to dog beach in Sawtell.  Once again Arley didn't swim, but at least he didn't complain about being there.  Carmie and I had a water bomb fight, and Arley and I played ball while Jeffrey wore Bella out by having her bounding into the water and up the slope again.  Poor Bella is really feeling her years and can barely move the day after a beach day.  She will be twelve this year.

On Sunday morning I took the kids to the markets for a look around and some treats.  They are great markets with a ton of food stalls, so I think we will be going back to lunch there soon.  On Monday the kids and I got out scooting at the neighbourhood park, and then on Wednesday we met their friend Charlie at Boambee Bay reserve.  It was so lovely out there, and the water was so warm.  It's a bit sad that the cooler weather is coming, I will miss our beach days.  It's been such a rotten summer, I feel like we didn't get enough.

Today we were going to have a home day, but I ended up getting the kids out, because Arley was so dysregualted and rotten.  He was having a very hard time.  He calmed down, and I decided to take the kids to lunch and walk on the beach, thinking it would do him good.  Lunch was lovely, and the walk started well, until Carmie started doing this silly run on the beach.  Arley tries to control every movement she makes, and he was screaming at her to stop.  It went on and on, and it got incredibly abusive and horrible. So, not the calm, recuperating time I was hoping for.  Then this afternoon I took them to swimming lessons, but Arley got a bloody nose and so couldn't go in the pool.  Carmie decided she doesn't like her new teacher, so went with Arley's teacher instead, leaving her teacher hanging in the pool a little dumbfounded.  It has not been the best day!

And I am exhausted.  I'm hoping today was just a one off disaster.

I have no photos of Arley this week because he is refusing to be photographed :(

Bellingen pool

Carmie proving her metal

Dog beach

Sunday markets

Bella's new hair cut!

Carmie & Charlie

Lunch at Sawtell

509 + 405 Weeks

We've had a big week!  It was Autism Awareness Day on Friday, and we wanted to do something special for the kids.  We had cake for lunch (bad, I know!), and then we went out to north Park Beach to have a roam and get some photos.  Arley did NOT want to be there, and was having a really hard time.  He can't seem to smile for the camera anymore, and is aware that when he tries his face doesn't respond like he wants it to.  So, it wasn't the best time for him.  The trip ended in smiles, but it took a bit to get there! That night we went to the night food market for dinner.  It was really good...until it started raining!

On Sunday it was Easter, and the kids were, of course, excited.  It is definitely different now that they are older, but it is still lovely to see them running around collecting eggs.  They got a LOT.  After breakfast we decided to walk down to the oval that is just down the hill, to play a game of Finska and then some cricket.  Arley kicked up quite a stink about going, and was a serious pouty grump about it, but once he started playing, he had a great time.  Carmie loves playing outdoors with us, so we will definitely be making more use of that oval from now on.  We tried to go down again the next day, and once again, Arley kicked up a huge fuss.  The bummer is that five minutes after getting there, it started pouring down, and then we just had to pack up and walk home in the rain, so Arley felt very vindicated!!  We haven't been back because the weather has been rotten since then.

ArleyBear had a monster meltdown on Monday.  It was terrible, and set off by the smallest thing.  He got very abusive and a little violent, so I took Carmie and left Arley in the house with Jeff.  Carmie and I went out to lunch and then went to the mall for some shopping, and to try to chill out.  We got home about two hours later, and Arley was lying in his calm-down tent, nice and calm, and remorseful.  He hasn't been eating properly, not for ages.  He eats his muesli for breakfast, and then I'm pretty much begging him to eat all day.  Right now he will eat frozen blueberries for lunch, and one of five small dinners.  He has lost weight again, and I'm sure that is why he had the meltdown - he was hungry.  He doesn't feel the hunger though, and has no desire to eat, so it's really hard.

I had an appointment with our psychologist on Tuesday and we sorted through a lot of stuff, and established some more family rules and boundaries.  The kids and Jeff and I have to sign off on these rules so we all know what is going on, and we are really hoping they work.  We have been told that things will get a lot worse before they get better though, so it's a little stressful.  

Carmie has had a hard time.  Her sleep has been on and off all week.  Then she was told that Aunty Georgia's dog Abby died, and OMG, she was broken.  Carmie spent a lot of time with Abby over the years, and she has been talking lately how she gets to see Abby again soon when we go down there in a few weeks.  Carmie literally cried for two hours straight when she was told, and then on and off all night.  She is so emotional, Abby is not even her dog!  I dread to think what it's going to be like when it's Bella's time.

This morning we had no horse riding (still haven't sorted that out), so I took the kids to the library instead, and then Arley and I made banana bread.  Jeffrey took the kids to swimming lessons this afternoon, and Arley's old teacher was back, and he managed to get Arley into the pool despite his resistance, which is a big win!

It looks like we are going to have some great weather for the next week, so I'm really looking forward to getting out to the beach again!

Autism Awareness Day photos

At the night market

Easter morning

Finska

The (usual) winners