537 + 433 Weeks

It's been a good week...I think?  We've had a few outings.  I have been holding off on letting the kids go on their screens until 1pm every day, and at first this was hell, but this week it hasn't been too bad.  Arley had the great idea of making our craft table a 'drawing table' because he wants to create an art gallery inside our house.  I'm all for it, of course!  We've spent a couple of evening drawing there, which is a big win for us.  It's what we used to do, but the kids have been really resistent for a good year.

We tried another trip to the indoor rock climbing place as a family, because Arley said he wanted to give it a go.  To his credit, he walked in, got his special shoes on, and walked right over to a beginner wall and climbed it, then climbed the one next to it.  I was super proud and high-fiving him...then everything fell apart when he went over to the wall Carmie was on and discovered that he couldn't do it.  All hell broke loose, and he got nasty.  I guess his anxiety went up and he felt a loss of control.  He tried to make our time there miserable, and I have to say, he succeeded.  I eventually convinced him to sit with my phone and play it so the rest of us could climb.  I'm not very good at it, but it is fun!

Two days later Jeffrey took Carmie back there, and she climbed so high!  She is really good at it, and loves it.  At the same time, I took Arley to the mall to buy knee and elbow pads so we could get him back on his bike safely.  I have been trying to get him to ride since we moved here.  We have tried four times.  He was able to ride a bike for almost a year before we moved from Ulladulla, but then he didn't ride at all when we were in Coffs Harbour.  It is perfect for riding here.  He agreed to give it another go, so I scouted out an area nearby that is flat and totally private, and got him back on his bike.  He was petrified.  It's a bigger bike this time, and when he stops, he falls right over because he doesn't lean enough to get his foot on the ground.  He screamed and berated me for half an hour, it was pretty awful.  I don't know how we're going to get beyond this, but I'm not giving up!

On Monday Arley had a session with his mentor, and he loved it.  Carmie is starting up with the same comapny next week.  She will have a female mentor coming to our house on Thursday afternoons, and she can't wait.

On Tuesday we had our family therapy session (but Jeff was at work).  It was abysmal. Arley couldn't settle down, Carmie had a meltdown (actually a shutdown for over half the session), Arley kept rolling his eyes at the therapist, the kids faught over a toy for 15 minutes...It was awful.  I needed a break so badly afterwards. I told the kids in no uncertain terms that we were going to the beach because that was what I wanted.  Arley threw a fit, saying he hates the beach, and he wasn't going to take his shoes off etc etc, plus lots of name calling.  I took away all screens until he got his feet in the water, that was my deal.  So, we got to the beach, I managed to get his shoes off him, we built sandcastles, and then the three of us started jumping waves.  The next thing, we were laughing because we were soaked, Carmie fell over in the water, Arely took his shirt off, and the kids swam in their clothes for an hour!  This is the first time Arley has swum at a beach in over a year!  It was a massive breakthrough.  He can't wait to go back now, and I couldn't be happier.  I had only one towel, and the kids' clothes were soaking (them swimming was the last thing I thought would happen!).  I went to the surfclub and bought hot chips and milkshakes, and they were happy but freezing.

Today we had a home day.  The kids helped me in the garden and we just hung out.  I am having them help me prep meals and get their own food, so they are becoming more independent.  Carmie is great in the kitchen, Arley thinks he is going to burn himself so is scared to do most things.  Carmie made us French toast this morning, even after a night of insomnia.  She's pretty sweet.

So yes, a good week, but with some really big moments.

These photos of Carmie are from a Daddy daughter day a few weeks back.

536 + 432 Weeks

It's been a good and busy week.  I am exhausted and would love a break, but that's not in the cards until my parents come up, which won't happen until the borders open...so, maybe never??

We made new friends this week.  On Saturday I took the kids to a small autism family get together at a cat retreat cafe.  The kids were very excited to go, because they love cats and are desperate for one as a pet.  The family who organised it is lovely and the kids made friends with their son Flynn.  We are going to their place for a play the weekend after next.  It is great to find families in similar situations to our own, because very little needs to be explained when things go badly, so it takes the pressure off.  And the cat retreat was great, except that the kids must have asked me a hundred times if they could adopt a cat.

We also went to an indoor rock climbing centre.  The kids were really excited to go, but it didn't work out as planned.  We thought it was a place where they would be harnessed and can climb the walls and then repel down.  This place was actually a bouldering place, so there was no harness.  We had to sit through a short demo, and as soon as the guy said if you fall, roll backwards and keep your arms tucked in, I knew Arley was out.  The look on his face - he thought he was going to die.  His anxiety sky-rocketed, and he pretty much fell apart.  I got in a few short climbs before I took him out to run errands, leaving Carmie and Jeff having fun bouldering.  Poor Arley's anxiety was so high that when we were out doing errands, he started clinging to me and started sobbing, saying he was convinced I was going to die in a car accident.  He was beside himself.  He only relaxed when we all got home.  Carmie and Jeffrey had a great time though, and will be going back for sure.

On Tuesday Arley's mentor came over, and once again Arley had a blast.  He spent two hours engaged, and got to fly a drone through hoops in our backyard.  Our family therapy on Wednesday didn't go nearly as well, with Arley completely disengaged and Carmie overexcited.  You win some, you lose some!

I took the kids to the Eumundi markets yesterday.  The markets up there are amazing!  But next time I will definitely be going without the kids.  Carmie wanted to stop and touch anything colourful or shiny, and Arley wanted to go home as soon as we arrived.  Carmie bought a glass hummingbird which she dropped and broke as soon as we got home.  She was so upset.  But the markets are great and I'm really looking forward to going back!

Today we made new friends.  We went to an indoor playhouse and met up with an 8 year old boy who lives in our neighbourhood and has just started homeschooling.  His name is Chase, and he and Arley got along really well, which is so good.  I liked the mum too, so it's a win win!

We have had some really bad weather this week, a lot of rain, which is great for the garden but not so good for Jeff.  He has had a few days off work, but today they bit the bullet and he had to work out in the pouring rain all day.  He is going to train in climbing soon, so he is pretty happy with this new job.

The kids have been tough cookies this week.  Arley has been super grumpy and rather dysregulated and angry, and Carmie has been quite emotional.  Hoping that they both level out, because I am really tired!

Bella scared of the thunder

535 + 431 Weeks

This week has flown by.  I was busy for most of the weekend, and Jeffrey was doing chores etc, so the kids spent a lot of time on their screens.  Carmie is always fine because she seems to be able to regulate herself, but Arley is a hot mess when he is on screens for too long.  It becomes a bit of an obsession with him.  I know why.  It's not addiction.  It's where he feels in control.  He feels safe,  on top of his game, and with zero anxiety, which is so different from the way he is in real life.  It's no wonder he always wants to be on his computer.  He has online friends, and he is a wiz at typing.  The problem is, he becomes a terror when he gets off them if he has been on too long.  So we've kind of had a rough week with him!  He also started back on Ritalin this week, on a low dose, so I'm sure that has been effecting him as well.  But the good news is that on Monday I sat him down to do a page of maths and English to show the school board, and it usually takes him 20 minutes with lots of complaining. He did it in 4 minutes.  So that's a definite plus!  On Tuesday his mentor Jack from Launchpod came over for a two hour session with him, and it went really well.  Jack said Arley was engaged the whole time and really enjoyed himself.  It was really good because I got to spend 2 hours alone with Carmie.  We weeded the tomato plants and chatted, and it was nice.

After the five days of screens I put my foot down and made a no screens before 1pm rule.  You can imagine how that went down with Arley.  Yesterday was torture for him.  We went to meet Lexi and Felix and Nicky at the mall, and he actually did really well waiting while Carmie and Lexi went off shopping together.  (I did give him his iPad and headphones though, the mall is too much for him sometimes).  Carmie had a lovely time walking around the mall alone with Lexi and shopping.  They feel like big kids, and it's nice to give them that freedom.  I think the mall is Carmie's favourite place to be at the moment, which is annoying, because we live in the most beautiful area!

To combat Arley's no-screens boredom, we wake up in the morning and write our plan for the day until 1pm on the whiteboard so he can see what we are up to.  It really helps both the kids.  Today we all weeded the strawberry patch (and not a single complaint from either kid!), and then we went up to the shops because the kids wanted to try bubble tea.  Theirs was more like a sugary fruit slushy with fruit flavoured popping balls inside.  They LOVED them, and we were so excited that we found a new treat for them, and then we were saying how we'd do gardening once a week and then the bubble tea would be our after-treat...until we all started feeling sick!  I never thought my kids would say they had too much sugar, but it happened this morning.  We will be sharing one next time!

I don't have much else to add.  Tomorrow we have a park play with an 8 year old boy who has just started homeschooling and who lives in the neighbourhood, so hopefully he will become a good friend for Arley. I have given up on trying to get Arley's blood drawn to test for coeliac - it's just not going to happen any time soon.  Carmie is doing well; not 100% but much better than before.  Oh yes, and Monday was really hot so we went swimming in our pool!  The water was still a bit cold, but it was fun all the same, and made me really look forward to summer.

Not too many pictures from this week, only these ones from today drinking their bubble teas.