It's been a good week...I think? We've had a few outings. I have been holding off on letting the kids go on their screens until 1pm every day, and at first this was hell, but this week it hasn't been too bad. Arley had the great idea of making our craft table a 'drawing table' because he wants to create an art gallery inside our house. I'm all for it, of course! We've spent a couple of evening drawing there, which is a big win for us. It's what we used to do, but the kids have been really resistent for a good year.
We tried another trip to the indoor rock climbing place as a family, because Arley said he wanted to give it a go. To his credit, he walked in, got his special shoes on, and walked right over to a beginner wall and climbed it, then climbed the one next to it. I was super proud and high-fiving him...then everything fell apart when he went over to the wall Carmie was on and discovered that he couldn't do it. All hell broke loose, and he got nasty. I guess his anxiety went up and he felt a loss of control. He tried to make our time there miserable, and I have to say, he succeeded. I eventually convinced him to sit with my phone and play it so the rest of us could climb. I'm not very good at it, but it is fun!
Two days later Jeffrey took Carmie back there, and she climbed so high! She is really good at it, and loves it. At the same time, I took Arley to the mall to buy knee and elbow pads so we could get him back on his bike safely. I have been trying to get him to ride since we moved here. We have tried four times. He was able to ride a bike for almost a year before we moved from Ulladulla, but then he didn't ride at all when we were in Coffs Harbour. It is perfect for riding here. He agreed to give it another go, so I scouted out an area nearby that is flat and totally private, and got him back on his bike. He was petrified. It's a bigger bike this time, and when he stops, he falls right over because he doesn't lean enough to get his foot on the ground. He screamed and berated me for half an hour, it was pretty awful. I don't know how we're going to get beyond this, but I'm not giving up!
On Monday Arley had a session with his mentor, and he loved it. Carmie is starting up with the same comapny next week. She will have a female mentor coming to our house on Thursday afternoons, and she can't wait.
On Tuesday we had our family therapy session (but Jeff was at work). It was abysmal. Arley couldn't settle down, Carmie had a meltdown (actually a shutdown for over half the session), Arley kept rolling his eyes at the therapist, the kids faught over a toy for 15 minutes...It was awful. I needed a break so badly afterwards. I told the kids in no uncertain terms that we were going to the beach because that was what I wanted. Arley threw a fit, saying he hates the beach, and he wasn't going to take his shoes off etc etc, plus lots of name calling. I took away all screens until he got his feet in the water, that was my deal. So, we got to the beach, I managed to get his shoes off him, we built sandcastles, and then the three of us started jumping waves. The next thing, we were laughing because we were soaked, Carmie fell over in the water, Arely took his shirt off, and the kids swam in their clothes for an hour! This is the first time Arley has swum at a beach in over a year! It was a massive breakthrough. He can't wait to go back now, and I couldn't be happier. I had only one towel, and the kids' clothes were soaking (them swimming was the last thing I thought would happen!). I went to the surfclub and bought hot chips and milkshakes, and they were happy but freezing.
Today we had a home day. The kids helped me in the garden and we just hung out. I am having them help me prep meals and get their own food, so they are becoming more independent. Carmie is great in the kitchen, Arley thinks he is going to burn himself so is scared to do most things. Carmie made us French toast this morning, even after a night of insomnia. She's pretty sweet.
So yes, a good week, but with some really big moments.
These photos of Carmie are from a Daddy daughter day a few weeks back.
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