383 + 279 Weeks

Well, we have had some big challenges and some big successes this week.  We started behaviour therapy on Friday morning, because of Arley's aggression.  The therapist told me that every time Arley hurts anyone, or even invades their body space, he has to be put outside on the back patio.  She said to ignore all name calling, and we are only to work on the aggression right now.  During our session, Arley put on a fine display, lots of yelling and screaming and trying to control me.  Anyway, afterwards I told him the new rule, and it didn't take long for him to hit Carmie, and out he went.  He HATED it!  He completely lost it out there, and was banging on the glass, kicking, even head banging, and it was truly heart breaking.  Finally he asked for a cuddle, so I brought him in to cuddle, and he calmed right down.  The next day he swung a toy right in Carmie's face, so he was put out again.  Within 20 seconds (with lots of screaming and crying) he said he needed a cuddle, so I let him in, and he said, "Ha!  I only said that so you'd let me in!" and then he started all over again, so out he went again!  I think in the course of those first four days he was put outside 6 times, and now it has been two days without hitting or kicking or poking.  I'm sure it is not over, but it has been really lovely not being "beaten up" by my five year old.

However, he has totally upped the name-calling.  We tried to ignore it, but Carmie couldn't, so I thought of a new tactic.  I told Arley that every time he says something mean, I can't hear it because my brain switches it to something nice.  So when he screams "Idiot!" I say "Thank you so much, I love being called beautiful!".  It drives him crazy.  And it is a really easy way to keep my cool in the face him hysterically screaming everything nasty he can think of.  Jeff does it too now, and so does Carmie.  He had a tantrum at the beach, and I took off walking, to get him to follow me and blow off steam.  He called me every name under the sun, and verbally abused me for a good 15 minutes, and then he hit me.  I took him by the shoulders, and said, "You can call me beautiful as much as you want, but you cannot hit me!" and he screamed, "I did not call you beautiful!!!!!"  He totally believes it :)  After we have extinguished the hurting, he will be put outside every time he calls a name, but we have to work on one thing at a time.

The kids have been doing a lot of floor play this week, which is great, because Arley seemed to skip that whole element of play when he was a toddler.  I am sure he is building skills that he missed.  We also had a beach day at North Mollymook, and I was able to bribe Arley to take his shoes off and get his feet in the sand again.  Carmie just loves jumping out in the waves with Jeffrey, and she cannot wait for summer to start.  We also got out to Collers Beach one day, and Carmie discovered "Climbers Cove", her new hideout.

We also continued with the kids' horse riding.  Carmie is learning to trot on her own, and she loves it.  Arley is a champion at drama, still brave and only needing me to stay for a couple of minutes.  We have instituted "Daddy Day" and the kids take turns spending a day with their dad doing whatever they want.  They love it, and it is really great to get the kids separated and to spend time with them individually.  Every morning Arley and I eat breakfast out on the front lawn, and pretend we are at the beach, and then Carmie joins us and we all go for a scoot together.  It is a really nice way to start the day.  And, it was mine and Jeff's 10 year anniversary this week.  I can't believe it, it really doesn't seem like 10 years!  The kids spent the night at their Lolo and Dida's so we could celebrate :)

Here are some videos from this week:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYDFw5fKtZ0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdcEKshVCTc

 Beach day at North Mollymook

 Collers Beach